Click Type Stalk
by dork-with-glasses
Summary: Facebook is a staple in almost every teenager's life. Facebook stalking is something we all do...not that he was contemplating stalking anyone. Especially another guy. Dave Karofsky was not gay. - implied one-sided Kurtofsky and implied Klaine.


**Set post-Never Been Kissed and pre-The Substitute. **

**Warnings: Homophobic language**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

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><p>Press button. Power on. Leave room. Grab a glass of juice. Back upstairs. Sit down. Click internet. Wait to load. Type. www .facebook .com. Email: d .karfosky(at)gmail .com. Password: thefury.<p>

Dave leaned back in his chair, contemplating the screen with the bright blue banner in front of him. Looking at his home page he could see various things his 'friends' had been doing. Azimio had written on Anthony's wall, Santana had uploaded a new facebook album and his cousin in Seattle had updated her status. Nothing interesting.

But he wasn't there to blankly look through the dozens of posts his school friends, relatives and football buddies had made in the past 24 hours or so. There was a reason that Dave Karofsky was sitting at his desk, facebook open, looking nervously at the computer screen at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when he could be hanging out with Azimio and Frank.

_Get a grip, Dave_; _it's not like anyone will know what you're doing_. That's what scared him the most. It wasn't that he was contemplating this small, insignificant act (although he was still scared shitless about that); it was that someone would catch him at it. Azimio coming in to play Halo (he knew where the front door key was), his Dad home early from work, wanting to have a talk to his son, or even the plumber, who he knew was supposed to turn up some time today to fix a leaking pipe. No, because no one could catch him doing this. They'd get the wrong assumptions. He couldn't bother explaining to people. Yeah, that was it.

Because he _wasn't _gay, god dammit!

The reason for doing this was purely for curiosity's sake. He needed to know who the fuck this prep boy was that he interrogated him at school today. It wasn't that he appeared to be going out with Hummel. No way. Because Dave didn't care about that bloody queer and whatever dapper boyfriend he wanted to have. But they couldn't just shove it in his face. Nu uh, Lima, Ohio was the not the place for that bullshit.

He wasn't fooling anyone. Even if the only person he was trying to fool was himself.

Dave leaned back towards his screen, hands hovering uncertainly over the key board. Where could he start? It wasn't like he was friends with Hummel on facebook, no frigging way! He had respect and dignity, dammit, and there was no way on god's green earth that he would ever publically link himself to Kurt Hummel. He wasn't friends with Mercedes Jones either, because he was _not_ going to be a loser by association. She would have been the most likely to have a link to Hummel, or even dapper Frodo, on her page. Rachel Berry was also out of the question. No one was friends with Rachel Berry.

He supposed he could start with Finn. Hudson was Hummel's step-brother or something weird now; probably a good bet there'd be something on his page. Dave sat and typed the name 'Finn Hudson' in the search bar at the top of the page. Clicking onto Hudson's page he looked quickly through the rubbish that filled his wall: a couple of jokes and links from Puckerman, about 10 million whining posts from Berry (he did not understand why Hudson didn't dump the chick, unless Finn really was gay) and a couple of facebook game invites from Evans. Nothing from Hummel. Dave continued to scroll down Hudson's wall looking for anything that might link him to the fairy, and therefore dapper boyfriend. Eying some 'Happy Birthday' posts from various people, Dave thought he might just be in some luck.

Sure enough, about half-way down a list of 'Happy Birthday! :) Have a great day!'s that were customary on facebook for anyone's birthday, Dave found one from _Kurt Hummel_: 'Have a lovely day, Finn. Because it's your birthday I will not attempt to burn your puffy vest.'

Success.

He clicked the link. Unfortunately for Dave it came up with a blank page and possibly the most aggravating thing for the average facebook stalker to see: "**Kurt only shares some of his information with everyone. **If you know Kurt, add him as a friend or send him a message."

"Bullshit!" Dave yelled, smashing his fist on the table, causing his juice to spill everywhere. "Shit." He cursed and quickly left the room to get something to clean it up with.

As he walked towards the kitchen he tried to think of another way to find prep boy on Facebook. How else was a 17 year old supposed to stalk someone without getting charges pressed? Not that he was contemplating stalking anyone. _Especially_ another guy. Dave Karofsky was not gay.

Well, knowing Hummel, dapper-as-fuck was probably in his own homo-explosion. But what school did he go to? There were no private schools that he knew of around here. Maybe there were some, but he was dead sure that he'd never seen that uniform before today. Logically, that meant Frodo was from out of town, but not so far out that he wouldn't come to McKinley. Where did that leave him to look? He couldn't very well look up all the schools in Ohio just looking for a uniform that looked like the one dapper-boyfriend was wearing. It could take hours and he did not have that much time before his Dad came home.

_Wait; there must be only one show choir competition in Ohio. If I can find that, I'll find the competing schools. It may not have dapper-as-fuck's name but it'll have someone's that goes to the school. Might even link to a school website. _

Click new tab. Type. www .google .com. Click search bar. Search: ohio show choir competition. Hit enter.

Leaning back on his chair again, Dave looked at the first results to pop up onto the screen. The first one being about Oliver Newton-Jones and Jimmy Grogan (whoever the fuck they were) judging at Regionals last year. Well that was no use, if Hummel had gone to that, he would have met Frodo earlier and that didn't seem right.

The next result looked more promising. _National Show Choir Competition 2011: Ohio and Indiana Competitors._ He clicked on that and stared reading.

The National Show Choir competition has been around for...blah blah. _As if I care about this garbage. _Dave continued to scroll down the page until he found what he was looking for. _2011 Competitors. _

**OHIO AND INDIANA COMPETITORS**

- Carmel High School- Vocal Adrenaline

- Jane Addams Academy

- Haverbrook School for the Deaf

- William McKinley High School- New Directions

- Westvale High School- Aural Intensity

- Continuing Education Program- The Hipsters

- Dalton Academy- The Dalton Academy Warblers

Well obviously Carmel was out of it, as was Jane Addams and that school for the deaf. Dave knew Carmel and obviously, Frodo wasn't deaf. Jane Addams? Ha! All girls and criminals. Prep boy was clearly neither, although close to the former. Wasn't from McKinley either or he'd have been living in the dumpster and that Continuing Education Program sounded like it was for a bunch of drop outs or something. Obviously it was either Westvale or Dalton.

Clicking the Westvale link on the site, it led Dave to a homepage with a bunch of students out of uniform. Nope, clearly not the school he was looking for.

Dalton Academy was clearly what he was after. _Ergh, it's like one massive gay school_. Dave thought as he looked at the home page. All boys, hideous uniforms and pompous school mottos. If Hummel wanted a boyfriend from some stuck-up rich boys' school then fine, whatever, it was his problem. Not that Dave cared about Hummel having a boyfriend...not at all; he just wasn't allowed to shove the gay in Dave's face.

_Show choir, show choir, where the fuck is it?_ Dave scrolled down the home page, looking for anything that might lead him to dapper-as-fuck. A few minutes of searching later and Dave found it, a page titled 'The Dalton Academy Warblers.' He clicked on the link.

'The Dalton Academy Warblers are an acapella choir that was formed in...' _Why the fuck do they think we care about this shit? _Dave thought angrily as he continued to scroll down. _ Ha! There it is!_ Dave thought triumphantly as he spotted a heading 'Current Members'. Following the title there was a list of names: Wes Montgomery, David Thompson, Thad Harwood, Blaine Anderson, Jeff Sterling, Nick Duval... the list continued to name a bunch of other boys. _How am I supposed to know which one is what's-his-face?_ Dave continued going down the list until he found the pictures. _Jackpot! _A picture depicting the Warblers at some concert they were putting on. Dapper-as-fuck was singing lead (_Go figure, Hummel, always want the spot light, don't you?_) and the caption underneath was _Lead Singer Blaine Anderson and the rest of the Warblers singing at..._Dave didn't read anymore. He'd found what he was looking for.

Clicking back onto facebook with a renewed energy, Dave typed the name 'Blaine Anderson' into the search bar. Then his heart sank at the sheer number of 'Blaine Anderson's in the world. Clicking the location feature, however, and typing 'Ohio' into it, it was all too easy to find him. Dave found him alright, but it wasn't quite what he had been hoping for.

No picture. No photos. No wall posts. No mutual friends. The only things Dave could see were _Gender: Male_ and _Went to: Dalton Academy_.

"Bullshit!" Dave shouted again, his loud voice ringing through the empty house.

After all this effort, he'd found Hummel's dapper boyfriend, only to be find that he'd made his facebook page completely un-stalkable. _What the fuck is with these queers? Keeping their profiles private?_ Dave thought angrily. _Because of people like __**you**__. _A small voice inside his head told him. A wave of shame washed over him as he thought it over. Yes, it was because of people like him that people like Hummel and dapper-boy Anderson kept their profiles hidden from the rest of the world. But it was their own fault; they didn't need to be so flamboyant. They were just asking for it!

Dave let out a breath and stared at his disappointingly blank screen for a few minutes. How was he going to find out about that hobbit Anderson now? It's not like any of his friends know him, or would _want_ to know him! He sure as hell didn't want to know him. _Then why are you searching him up? _The small voice in his head was back. _Just out of interest. I need to know the fairy that thought he could push me._ Dave argued. That was the reason. That was the only reason that he was spending his Thursday afternoon hunched over his computer when he could be out playing football or hanging out with his friends. The _only _reason. Because Dave Karofsky was not jealous. No sire, he was _not_. Because being jealous would mean that he was _gay_ and if there was one thing that Dave Karofsky was not, it was gay. It's just confusion. That's it. Nothing big. It was Hummel trying to convert him with his homo-magic or something. Yup, because David Paul Karofsky was 100% into chicks.

_Okay, deep breath Dave, there must be some way to find out more stuff on Anderson._ Dave continued to stare the screen, tapping his fingers impatiently on the desk. An idea popped into his head after a little while of thinking. He returned to the Gay School's website and looked back at the list of names. _Ha! There's one._

Click tab. Type. _Wes_ _Montgomery. _Location: Ohio. Click icon of a boy in a uniform. _Oh thank god this guy hasn't hidden everything._ Dave looked at the profile. It seemed like this guy could be friends with dapper-as-fuck. Same school, also in the Waklers (or whatever they're called), smarmy prep look. Yup, Dave Karofsky might have hit the jackpot. Pausing only to notice this guy was actually straight (In a relationship with Meg Peters, who would have guessed the school produced _normal_ people?), he clicked photos. After sifting through a bunch of what looked like a family holiday to Canada, he finally found what he was looking for: photos of Hummel's boyfriend.

Most of them were just of the Garglers performing (_Ever do anything interesting, prep boy?_) and there was a bunch of photos of a group of them at a beach. Dave paused on one of those ones. There was a bunch of comments on it and he scrolled down them.

_Nick Duval:_ Haha, nice sunburn Jeff!

_Jeff Sterling:_ Shut up! I have sensitive skin!

_David Thompson: _I'm more of a fan of Blaine getting swamped by that wave (although your sunburn comes second, Jeff).

_Wes Montgomery: _Oh poor Blaine, just so short.

_Blaine Anderson:_ You're the same height as me, Wes!

_Ergh, why do we care? _Dave moved on. Nothing to conclude there except that Anderson was short, which he'd kind of figured out for himself funnily enough.

For the next 15 minutes or so, Dave continued to look through the photos. He didn't find out that much, nothing interesting anyway. Anderson's birthday was August 23rd, he used way too much hair gel and before July 9th 2010, he'd never had a boyfriend. Well that part was sort of interesting, but not surprising. It wasn't like there were many teenagers who were out of the closet. _Hey, look at me_._ Wait, don't. Because I'm _not_ gay. I am _not!_ I refuse to be gay. I don't want this. It's not something that I am_. _I like girls. Yup. Santana is hot. So is Brittany. And Sarah and Emily and Joanna and Ku-__**shit!**_

Dave took his hands away from the keyboard and put his head in his hands. What the hell was he doing? He was searching up some gay kid that he didn't even know the name of because he was going out with Hummel. It wasn't like it was to find information to beat him up or anything, because then he would have got Frank and Azimio round too. He was doing it because he was going out with _Hummel_. A dude. A gay dude. Kurt-freaking-Hummel no less. Kurt Hummel: possibly the gayest person to ever walk the corridors of William McKinley High School.

_I'm not gay. I can't be gay. I don't _want_ to be gay. I have to be straight. I just _have _to be. _

"David?" A voice rang through the house. "Are you home?"

Dave raised his head from his hands. "Yeah Dad, I'll be down in a second."

He let out a deep breath and the clicked back on his facebook homepage. Working quickly, he deleted his internet history from the past half an hour. No one could know what he'd been doing. Everything would turn to shit if anyone found out how he'd spent this Thursday afternoon. No one, not Azimio, his Dad, Schuester, _especially _Hummel, could know. They just couldn't.

Because he didn't _want _to be gay, god dammit!

Exit window. Click button. Power off.

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><p><strong>Author's note: So this is my first glee fic and I hope you all enjoyed it. I really feel incredibly sorry for Karofsky and I hope more than anything that they bring him back in season 3 (which I have not seen any of because the episodes haven't aired yet in New Zealand). He's just got so much potential. <strong>

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and I'd really appreciate reviews as I've never written in this fandom before. **

**Thanks!**


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